*Here is how all the scripts for last night's New York City TV newscasts went (and remember, all were independently written): "Our big story tonight is the impending snowstorm. We have team coverage." Cut to first reporter standing near a highway garage, while the camera shows mounds of road salt. "Crews are getting ready... 12-hour shifts... snow going ..." Then cut to the reporter standing along the side of a New Jersey highway. "It will be a messy commute tomorrow night. ... Drive carefully ..." Then cut to the taped piece at a Home Depot, where managers are reporting the shocking information that people are buying shovels. Then cut to a supermarket, where people are said to be stocking up on bread and milk (although the shelves are far from bare). (By the way, this is the New York Metropolitan area, where snowfall totals aren't expected to exceed six inches. And even if it's more snow than that, do the bread and milk shoppers really believe they'll be stuck inside their homes for days?) Then cut to the weather person and the map and the whites and pinks and greens. Team coverage! Virtually the same on every channel. And winter isn't officially here.
*Memo to headline writers in sports departments, including ours: Don't make fun of names. Or are we just going to see how many different ways we can jostle Putz?