Here's all you have to know about the impact of a "moderate" earthquake on people who have lived in Los Angeles for more than 10 minutes:

* My son, Matt the TV writer, said it was no big deal, although the biggest temblor he'd experienced. His girlfriend, Jessica the TV-movie costumer, was out shopping. No problem there, either.

* My father-in-law, Lenny, slept through it. Never felt a thing. Neither did my brother-in-law, Ray.

* My sister-in-law, Louise, was at work, where all was OK. But she was anxious to get home to see how Hank, her beloved Bichon Frise pooch, handled it.

If they could carry a tune, they'd be singing along to Randy Newman:

From the South Bay to the Valley
From the West Side to the East Side
Everybody's very happy
'Cause the sun is shining all the time
Looks like another perfect day

I love L.A. (We love it)
I love L.A. (We love it)