Mr. Wonderful
Even by Mike Francesa’s transparent and hilariously haughty standards, he has been on a spectacular run. A few highlights:
Tuesday, his superior expertise and extensive inside knowledge of all college football and NFL matters allowed him to predict Louisville QB Teddy Bridgewater will be “the steal of the [this year’s] draft,” adding he could go earlier than Southern Cal QB Matt Barkley.
But Al Alburquerque has as good a chance to be drafted. As a “true sophomore,” Bridgewater is not even eligible for the NFL draft. Oh, well.
Then there was his “interview” with Dick Vermeil, more an opportunity for Francesa to tell Vermeil how much he knows about football and to tell listeners how he and Vermeil have been pals for years.
Late in the chat, Vermeil, ostensibly the fellow who was being interviewed, interrupted Francesa with, “I don’t mean to interrupt.” Classic.
Then there were Francesa’s chronic problems with straight addition math as applied to his football picks. Francesa always loses track of his losing picks, when he has merely misplaced them — over there in the “win” column.
Heck last year he claimed to have picked the Giants to cover in Super Bowl XLII when, in fact, he picked the Patriots to crush the Giants.
Even this NFL postseason — 11 games, easy to track — the simple math threw him. He claimed to have finished “6-4 or 7-3,” but as truth-tracker Gary Lewbel chronicled, Francesa was 5-5-1. Yes, even the smallest, most foolish matters fuel his egomania. Hey, 5-5-1 — for you, Mike? — that’s fabulous!
And there was his expert tout that this Super Bowl’s ratings would be poor. Leave it to Mikey! It’s now believed to be the third most-viewed TV program in U.S. history.
Which brings us to next year’s Super Bowl, at PSL Stadium. Francesa already has authoritatively ensured us that the weather here on Feb. 2 will not be an issue.
And that can mean only one thing: The Great Super Bowl Blizzard of 2014 is just 51 weeks away!
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